Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dead Week Spring 2012

Order in the comments!


Blogger Morgan Miller said...

1. Overture – Dat Jippa Youf
B Masta' Mac, The Disspencer, Phil, Triple O.G. Status, Multiple Morgasm, The Gimp, and Thunder Dragon 4.0 A throw down a mad crazy rap.

2. Mr. Bubbles Children’s Show Series Finale – Mr. Bubbles
Mr. Bubbles will always be your friend because he's Mr. Bubbles. Even if you do stab your imaginary manatee in the chest with a knife.

3. Owl and Snail are Enemies – Barbara Monaco
A puppet show in which the aforementioned animals decide to stop not being dicks to each other.

4. Dat Jippa Youf Answers Fan Questions
B Masta' Mac and Thunder Dragon 4.0 field questions from the crowd.

4.5. Zombie Philosopher pt. I – Jon Chown

5. News From My Hometown – Sean
A semi-improvised piece about a town by the Tanger Outlet mall.

5.5. Snail Angst – MAMO
A sad snail shoots itself.

6. The Donner Party: From Shame to Fame – Luke Saunders
An unresearched musical stealing music, but not enough to be in legal trouble.

7. Dreamscapes, Ch. 1 – I Wish My Mind Were Spotless
A poem about a story that is just beginning,

8. Non Omnis Moriar – T. Pizzle
I think this means something to the effect of "Not all of me shall die" in Latin.

8.5. Zombie Philosopher pt. II – Jon Chown

9. UQ&A – Jesse
Another question and answer session, this time with Jesse

10. Oh Jon, Why? - Sasha
Sasha's roomate sucks.

11. Traveling – Molly Jean
Her mother took her away from Albuquerque.

12. What does that mean? - That One Italian Guy

13. Paper Towels – David Rout
I'm paraphrasing David here, but "James S. Roth once told me I had a unique writing style that didn't mix well with sex. I just wanted to say that before I read this piece."

14. A Tribute to Vengeance + Silliness – Nick Edinger
I was grabbing paper towels during this, but I say destruction of branches and books and water being thrown.

15. One Line From Every No Shame Piece I’ve Ever Written – Asher
Asher's last new piece as a board member here. Cue sentimental music.

4/28/2012 5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does anyone have an email address for epistelist and Roanoke area music producer Scott Barrios? We have *scoured* the internet looking for an email address for him so we're posting this here. We're producing a new reality series called MTV's Crackpots focusing on local eccentrics around the country and we'd like to feature him on an episode called "Way to Prove Those Psychiatrists Wrong, You Go Girl!" It's a chance for him to represent, and to set the record straight. Is he still writing libelous homerotic rape fiction on his 3 simultaneous blogs? Is he still known as "Firebug" for attempting to commit mass murder in Vinton in the early 80s? Has he threatened to give out anymore poison pies to commit a mass poisoning? Does he blow dudes and pretend to be straight? Has he stalked, harassed and impersonated any more co workers through the mail like he did when he got fired from the Roanoke Times in the 90s? Is he still really really angry at women? As a Letters to the Editor writer how many columnar inches can he take at once? Has he called in anymore bomb threats? Is he still allowed to work near airplanes and food? Is he obsessed with the size and shapes of people's heads? Is he still writing dozens and dozens and dozens of crank letters to the Roanoke Times trying desperately to convince himself that he's an intellectual and a decent writer? Does he still make terroristic threats on a regular basis against all other southwestern Virginia writers kind of the way Mark David Chapman had to take out Lennon to stroke his own fragile, psychotic ego? Is he still on the FBI and police watch lists? Has he bullied anyone else into committing suicide like he did the Patrick Henry student when he was a teenager? Was that gifted young writer a secret homosexual who craved Scott Barber according to Scott Barber? Is he still delusional? Is he still a vadge? What about the serial stalking? Has he done anymore trespassing like busting into peoples houses to assault them? Has he committeed anymore ebay fraud under an assumed name? Is he still a peenbiter? We need a peenbiter to help us bite a peengay. Does he still live in Roanoke?

*Please* tell him to email us!

Crystal Gold
Keywords: "Bomb Threat" Barrios, Homicidal Letters, Editors Letters, Homoerotic Letters, all writers are gay and want me and must be killed, MS in Hermanic Studies, fluency in Herman language, Father Lies Best, scott barrios heterosexual, chasmartinswift ebay fraud, My Three Son, Scott and Ray, slander queen, psychotic man take a look at your mind it is a lot like raymonds, self-destroyed livelihood, nature or nurture?, genetic predisposition, like father like son, liar, attempted mass murder, psycho killer, petty jealousy, all other writers must die, you are psychotic and have been interrogated, you are psychotic and should be remedicated, Diagnosis Psycho, Murder He Wrote, Homicide Life on the Street, , glenn close, Fatal Attraction, ego-induced vadginosis, jk galbraith, crystal meth, the eyes of lara mars, pop gose the weasel, libeler, slanderer, behold the impact of 30 days in the pysch center on the teen mind, flatt and scruggs, kleibold and loughner, unabomber, Too Kazcinski For Comfort, captain beefheart, screw magazine, al goldstein, mobius strip logic, Sweatin' to the 80s, bloody little israeli girls are invisible, blogamist, blogamy, aggravated assault, menacing, homemade explosives, qadaffi style delusional statements, leopold and loeb, Law and Order: SUV, poseur, a music producer yeah thats the ticket a music producer, As the Dick Invades, fraud, joke, Mike Ives wannabe, politico, pundit, Stalking Tall, #1 shit disturber, nobody thinks your cool, uncool, squaresville, Herman's Head, bully, To Mock a Killingbird,flintstones car, Bad Luck Shleprock, was it *suicide?*, was it *manslaughter?*, Western Virginia State, What About Donald?

10/05/2012 7:10 AM  
Anonymous Vickie Keating said...

^ "Anonymous"? okay, i'll bite. Same Guy who came up with *this* gem after getting bounced from a NY nightspot:

what do i win?

11/13/2012 10:21 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hi. I'm Simon Adkins, a long-time Roanoke No Shamer.

The anonymous post above is a troll. It's bullying using SEO techniques.

If the poster believes in what he or she is saying, then that person must realize he or she would be responsible for yanking the chain of an unstable person and the consequences which come from that. If instead the poster does not believe in what he or she is saying, then he or she must understand what such meanness and spite says about one's own self.

I just pray the poster isn't someone I know - or indeed one whom I consider a friend - because I would be very disappointed he or she would be such a bully.

Regardless, I do know Scott and have since junior high school. I can and will attest that the poster is flat out wrong about several things and deceitful and misleading about many others.

I offer my true name and my email address and a voice# (540) 632-1746.


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