Sunday, November 20, 2005

IC BONS nominations

So...what do you want to see in BONS?


Anonymous bobby said...

12. "Fun with Felons," by Katy Baggs (Katy tells us about a program in which she has taken a felon under her wing; felon turns out scary and dangerous)

Any katy baggs piece you choose will be awesome because that katy baggs.. she is a good one.

Pac Man Fever by Evan Shenck (Some guys drive in a car and pretend they are pac man by driving on top of the line...a cop pulls them over...they eat a power pill and the cop gets scared!)

8. "Little Billy's Halloween Pie," by Uncle Shelton (Jonathan tells children a scary, cannibalistic story, then offers to touch them)

2.5 . "It's Apple Time," by Aprille Clarke (Aprille and Sadie eat apples nourished by a forgotten baby)

1. "Mao, Mao, Mao," by the Michael Tabors (musical performance

2. "Seven Minutes in Heaven," by Patrick Ashcraft (monologue about boob-touching)

7. "See-Through Mask," by Danielle Santangelo (Danielle's character has a mentally ill father and talks to a bag-headed "stranger" about it)

12. From Just Another Shark: "Amity," by Stephen Hiro (a man best known as Stev-0 performs a song on a mandoline (?) and sings--themes of shark attacks and lost love)

9. The revenge of Amber Dautremonde by Aprille Clarke (aprille's playground brawl!!)
(This was actually one of many aprille pieces i thought were really effective and deserve to be in best of, ALSO including the one where she is in the back with her brother and they talk about dinosaurs, AND the one where her brother is part donkey.

14. "Exercise in Politeness: Penultimate Movement" by Alisa Rosenthal (man gets a haircut by a speechlessly sad woman; towel, scissors, electric razor)

11. "Tim's True Tales Volume 2" by Timm Sitzmann (monologue: Timm accidentally buys an Argentine handjob)

6. "The Booger King" by Brown Butt (Jamal's monologue, performed by Aaron Galbraith: The Booger King has come for boogers, but not really)

3. "Must Grow Beards" by Michael Tabor (monologue: preparation for post-apocalyptic survival)

5. Who's home? it a ninja? by Sadie loves it when a ninja come home (Monsters attack a guy. Another guy speculates that it was perhaps an elephant that gored him)

This was one of many sadie pieces i want to see ALL THE TIME. sadie is awesome.

11/21/2005 1:24 AM  
Anonymous bobby said...

13. "Vampire Detective Frankenstein Party!" by Adam Hahn (Sherlock Holmes and Count Dracula meet at a party)

also this one. i feel like there was another one adam did i'm forgetting, but i did really like this one.

11/21/2005 1:25 AM  
Anonymous bobby said...

NO i rememner now. the adam one that i liked the most is where he was a tattoo artist and he would tattoo things to children. it was sooo ewwwey and the darkness with the candle gave it the perfect atmosphere. gross. i hope it comes across just as well in a giant theater, though i hope that for every piece. sorry this says 3 comments but is actually kind of 1 comment.

11/21/2005 1:30 AM  
Blogger Shelton said...

Here's my 10 nominations for BONS (in no particular order):

1. When I started looking through this semester, like, 5 out of my 10 original nominations Evan Schenk Pieces. So I'm just going to group all of them into one nomination. I think my personal favorite, though, is "I Now Have the Right to Judge Everyone." I love it when he says all women should be ritually executed.

2. "It's Apple Time" by Aprille Clark. Eating babies is funny.

3. "Exercise in Politeness: Penultimate Movement" by Alisa Rosenthal. This is how I feel sometimes.

4. "Marlene" by Alisa Rosenthal.

5. "Seven Minutes in Heaven" by Patrick Ashcraft.

6. "Five More Minutes" by Danielle Santangelo. Holy Awesome Writer, Batman!

7. "What's in My Pocket?" by Brown Butt.

8. "We Are Anarchists!" by Eli Wilkinson.

9. "Eli's Coming and Going Straight to Hell" by Eli Wilkinson.

10. "Timm Sitzmann talks about the living room orgy in Argentina" from September 23.

And since it wouldn't be a true election without people voting for themselves, here's my favorite of my .5's and full pieces:
Full Piece - "How to Make A Milkshake Machine Run"
.5 - "My Life in a Nutshell"

11/21/2005 8:20 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Hey everyone so here are my Noms. I like to give everyone who performed regularly one nom each so that no one feels like I don't love them. So here they are:(also in no particular order)

1. Evan- Pac man Fever

2. Mirri - Several Terrible Tree puns in sucession

3. Alisa -Exercise in Politeness: Penultimate Movement

4. Katy - Popping the Question.

5. Shelton - How to make a milkshake machine run and/or My life in a nutshell.

6. Eric - An attempt at social commentary.

7. Sadie - Rivers and lasers: Friends to the end except they're actually enemies.

8. Patrick- Damnit, I am sexy no matter what you say and I'm gonna prove it! Through Song and dance.

(Even though it had my name as the author the entire thing was written by Patrick so I would not consider it my piece)

9. Danielle - Five more minutes.

(I wish I could write something like this...)

10. StevO and Tralex- No Shame within a No Shame

11. Bobby - Stay off my Planet.

12. Cool Jesse - Living and Dressing as someone else.

(I loved this it was very musical in a sense. Shows that pieces don't have to be dumb humor to be great)

13. Tim- The story about the orgy

14. Brown Butt- What's in my pocket?

15. Michael - Must Grow Beards

16. Aprille - My halloween at the Beach

17- Adam - I am an educator and a role model for young people


18. Sean Shatto - . Yeah, Elbows! or Yellbows!

As for myself I don't really care the tree I liked best were: Going to Hell pt 1, Birds Eye, or We are Anarchists.

Welp that does it for my selections. Hope everyone gets something in! And Remember: "Fortune Favors the Bold" (Virgil 70 -19 BC)

11/21/2005 2:59 PM  
Anonymous Katy Baggs said...

Bobby - In the words of Dr. Nick Riviera, "Stop! You're embarrassing me!" I think I had a couple good pieces in, but I wasn't very prolific this semester. But I would nominate your parasite piece, 'cause I like ya. As well as Patrick's piece about dropping his phone in his shit, Adam's one about his love affair with the black widow Marianne, Aprille's "Weird Things You Learn at the White House," and Shelton's piece where he said, "Aww, there's a taco in my chalupa." Also the thing where two guys made whale noises (sept 16). Also, the MT's performance of the Haunted House song because I missed that week so I never heard the song. And something by Sadie 'cause she's a little pixie.

11/21/2005 4:57 PM  
Anonymous Katy Baggs said...

And something by Alisa and anything where Jamal does his old man voice.

11/21/2005 5:04 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

hello, everyone!

i'm hanging out w/ anna mcgill and we've compiled our choices for BEST OF!!!! this is in no particular order.

1) "I am an educator and role model for young people" by adam hahn

love it when adam talks about his substitue teaching. i know he didn't want to, but this was the best i've seen of his this semester.

2) "urine nazi" by evan shenk

evan peeing against a wall is funny.

3) "favorite planet" by aprille clarke

we agree earth is the best planet!

4) "slumbering beneath your father's angst" by cool jesse

poignant and there's something to watch.

5) "living room orgY" by trimm sitzmann

tim's true tales are good, we enjoyed this one.

6) "5 more minutes" by danielle sluttangelo"

good staging, well written, made us cry.

7) "fun w/ felons" by katy baggs

don't forget the handouts. they added to the piece.

8) "song about the clock" by the michael trubadors

for some reason we remember this one as the best. can't say why so we'd like to see it again!

9) "ouych, hey stop that please" by spats smith

this was sadie's piece about shoes and boy tormentors. and it was great.

10) "postsecret" by leslie and stacy

we like stuff that makes us cry and this did it.

11) "like a virgin" by eric landuyt

eric deserves a second chance. maybe he won't premature ejaculate this time. we'll keep our fingers crossed!

12) "the skipper" by stephen hiro

our favorite song about sharks.

13) "only the beginning" by john leigh

short, sweet, and sums up the leigh work of the semester nicely.

14) "crunchy...." by sean shatto

try it again, sean. see what happens!

15) "i want to scare you" by bobby evers

this did scare me. i watched it on video tape and i was scared.

16) "we are anarchists" by eli wilkinson

eli's best work to date!!!!

17) "the mule is" by michael tabor

we wanted to include a lip-sync skit and this was the best one!

18) three way tie from john shelton
1) taco in chalupa
2) archie comics
3) "not talking" about penis

with shelton we can't play favorites. everything he does is comedy gold!!!

happy thanksgiving!!!!

11/21/2005 6:23 PM  
Anonymous Eric said...

Here's what I'd like to see at Best of No Shame in no particular order:

"How to Make a Milkshake Machine Run" by Jonathen Shelton (One of the funniest things at No Shame this year)

"I am an Educator and a Role Model for Young People" by Adam Hahn (Choosing just one act of "Macbeth" would be unfair)

"Tim's True Tales" by Timm Sitzmann (Living room orgy or accidental handjob; I'll be happy either way)

"Questions from an Actual Sex Ed Website with Hilarious Answers" by Aprille Clarke (the one where Michael Tabor's semen cures cancer)

"Marlene" by Alisa Rosenthal (I never thought I'd enjoy a severed penis so much)

"Haunted House" by the Michael Tabors" ('You'll die and you'll die!')

"Eli's Coming and going Straight to Hell" by Eli Wilkinson (Eli's finest blasphemy yet)

"Fun with Felons," by Katy Baggs (I wasn't at No Shame the week Katy did this, but I want to see it now because everyone else says it's really good)

"Seven Minutes in Heaven" by Patrick Ashcraft (Nipple-squeezing!!!)

"A Poem for Mom" by Danielle Santangello (The image of Danielle breast-feeding Adam Hahn is touching in more ways than one)

"Distance and Overexposure" by Cool Jesse Hates You and YOUR MOM (Jesus deserves another unhappy birthday)

"Stay Off My Planet" by Bobby Evers (This belongs somewhere in the funny galaxy)

"The Story of Jonathan Adventure: Part One"/"Pac-Man Fever" by Evan Schenck (It's a toss-up)

"Adventures in Alliteration," by Eric Landuyt (I picked this one because I thought it got the best response of any of my pieces)

"300 is a Big Number," by Lenslie Krappenface and Strackzy Honez (Orgies are fun)

"From Just Another White Shark:" by Stephen Hiro (Any song would be good; I hope the album will be finished soon)

"Several terrible puns in succession" by Mirri (I'm guessing she's more likely to eat Pat Sajak again than cat food)

"Ouch hey stop that please" by Sadie Smith (I hope this is the one about Ovaltine because that's the one I want)

"It's Time for Lunch," by Bernice Wells Carlson (I think this would be a good way to end the show if we can get everyone outside)

This may be more nominations than there are slots to fill, but I tried to pick a best piece for every regular performer. I hope no one gets left out.

11/21/2005 10:21 PM  
Blogger santangelo said...

My picks! These pieces were my favoritested:

Living and Dressing as Someone Else by Cool Jesse

From Just Another Shark: "Amity" by Stephen Hiro (Ptacek)

My life in a nutshell by Jon Shelton

What's Your Favorite Planet? by Aprille Clarke

"Mao, Mao, Mao" by the Michael Tabors

"Exercise in Politeness: Penultimate Movement" by Alisa Rosenthal

No Shame within a No Shame by Tralex and Stevo

Several terrible tree puns in succession by Mirri

Ouch hey stop that please by Sadie Smith

The seven Simons by Bernice Wells Carlson

Popping the question by Katy Baggs

Sex! Oh - and sex! by Timm Sitzmann

My Oblivian Returns!!! by Patrick Ashcraft is SAD

Monsters are so dumb sometimes by Timm Sitzmann

Spiral, Whee! by Sean Shatto

I Want to Scare You by Bobby Evers

We Are Anarchists by Eli Wilkinson

What's in my Pocket? by Brown Butt

How to Make a Milkshake Machine Run by Jonathen Shelton

I am an Educator and a Role Model for Young People by Adam "Feet" Hahn

Pac Man Fever by Evan Shenck

Just a Gigolo by Eric Landuyt

I don't have any comments like "this one was good for its writing" and all that. But just to let you know that "Spriral, Whee!" made me the happiest, shiniest little girl at the No Shame picnic that night. Have fun with your families, everyone!

11/22/2005 8:26 PM  
Blogger santangelo said...


This is Danielle Slutangelo speaking, and for your FYI, when I said that I nominated "My Oblivian Returns" by Patrick Ashcraft is Sad,I OF COURSE meant that I nominated "My Oblivian Returns" by Ratlick Asscram is Bad.

11/22/2005 8:31 PM  
Anonymous Famous Knife said...

IC BONS nominations

Hey aprille, you have a pretty good blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a SILENT OPS BAYONET Fantasy Knives. It pretty much covers
SILENT OPS BAYONET related stuff.

Come and check out SILENT OPS BAYONET if you get time, Nice going !

11/23/2005 6:54 PM  
Anonymous Alisa said...

Is that guy Famous Knife seriously selling a bayonet? What is this -eh heh- Revolutionary America or something -gufFAW.

Anyways, here are some noms off the top of my head.

-Aprille's piece about Earth being the best planet, because it is.

-Adam's piece about being a truck driver with a serial killing missus (that was this semester, right?) because I think he gave that lapdance to a girl from my floor

-Shelton's taco piece, for all life's little wonders

-Bobby's parasite piece, because I smiled the whole time

-Katy's pamphlet-handing out Fun with Felons piece, because I peed myself the whole time

-The apples are babies one... was that Aprille's or Sadie's?

-Something by the MTs. Duh.

-Timm's Argentine Orgy Fest

Uhh yeah I'm clearly forgetting some, so I'll post more when I think of them.

HEY I also want to take this time to THANK Timm for the kind reviews he's been giving me the last couple of weeks. I truly appreciate how serious you take my pieces and the wonderful feedback. Thank you!

11/23/2005 7:58 PM  
Anonymous Brad Duncan said...

IC BONS nominations

Hey aprille, you have a pretty good blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a Tactical Knives Fantasy Knives. It pretty much covers
Tactical Knives related stuff.

Come and check out Tactical Knives if you get time, Nice going !

11/25/2005 9:24 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Spammers fill me with a murderous rage... just like when George W got re-elected.

11/25/2005 7:06 PM  
Anonymous Darrell Ralph said...

IC BONS nominations

Hey aprille, you got an interesting blog here! I'm definitely bookmarking you right now!

I have a Fantasy Knives site. It pretty much covers
Frank Centofante related stuff.

Come and check out Frank Centofante if you get time :-)

11/25/2005 11:05 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

SPAMMERS!!!! ARRGGGG!!!! DIE!!!(Eli shoots them with a super ray gun).

11/26/2005 12:14 AM  
Anonymous Hunting Knives said...

IC BONS nominations

Hey aprille, you got an interesting blog here! I'm definitely bookmarking you right now!

I have a Fantasy Knives site. It pretty much covers
custom knife related stuff.

Come and check out custom knife if you get time :-)

11/26/2005 12:44 PM  
Anonymous Katy Baggs said...

IC BONS nominations

Hey aprille, you got an interesting blog here! I'm definitely bookmarking you right now!

I have a Fantasy Knives site. It pretty much covers
custom knife related stuff.

Come and check out custom knife if you get time :-)

Sorry, Eli...

11/27/2005 9:43 AM  
Anonymous Stevo said...

I've got a few nominations.

Anything by Jesse Blaine. Preferably his monologue about buying birthday presents for Jesus.

Seven Minutes in Heaven by Patrick Ashcraft.

Act IV of 20 minute Macbeth by Adam Hahn.

We are anarchists by Eli.

My Halloween at the beach by Aprille.

Postsecret by Leslie and Stacy

Haunted house by the michael tabors

Popping the question by Katie Baggs

especially if it is followed by

Stay off my planet! by Bobby Evers

I agree with Alisa, Sheltons taco peice all the way.

Danielle's peice where Adam breastfeeds from her.

That's all I can think of for now. Perhaps more later.
By the way, Stephen Hiro albums will be available at Best of No Shame in exchange for a mix CD. If no mix CD brough, I will give them away for a Kiss on the Cheek and Five bucks. Later all!

11/27/2005 11:59 PM  
Blogger timm said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11/28/2005 12:02 AM  
Anonymous Alisa said...

Oh good this reminds me that I loved Timm's bigfoot piece and the whale one. So, plus those noms for me.

11/28/2005 12:53 AM  
Blogger Patrick said...

oh, no shamers! i have an idea. how about at best of...we perform other people's skits! i know it's a crazy experiment but adam should do a shelton piece -- shelton, eli, and eric should play a michael tabors song -- michael should do an eric piece -- danielle can play a steveo song -- sean shatto can do a danielle piece -- sadie can do my piece -- i can do katy's piece -- katy can do aprille's piece -- aprille can do bobby's piece -- eli can do adam's piece -- oh geez, i could go on forever!!! doesn't this sound funny? at least for our own amusement???

11/28/2005 12:48 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

But Patrick, I'm a control freak who can't stand the idea of letting someone else take over my piece. Why do you think I write so many monologues?

Otherwise, I like your idea.

11/28/2005 2:05 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

adam --

you have to learn to let go. besides, you already did it once!!! personally i think eli could do some nice performing on a hahn piece. live and let die, my friend. and call me later. :)

11/28/2005 2:27 PM  
Anonymous Evan Schenck said...

1. Bobby Evers' "Stay off My Planet"
2. The immortal "How to Make a Milkshake Machine Run" by Jonny Shelton.
3. The one where Aprille Clark was talking about how Earth was the best planet.
4. "A is for Elephant" by the Michael Tabors
5. Something from Just Another White Shark (they're all good).
6. "We are Anarchists" with Eli and Shelton.
7. "Fun with Felons" by Katy Baggs
8. My favorite piece by myself was "I now have the right to judge everyone".

I'm sure I forgot some because Evan don't think good.

And we should force Mirri to perform all of the point-fives where she ate disgusting things again for the benefit of my schadenfreude.

11/28/2005 5:26 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

DUH Mirri's tree pun piece

11/28/2005 6:40 PM  
Blogger timm said...

Shouldn't this be a post for the BOBB nominations?

11/28/2005 7:07 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

No Tim... because the name Big Butt just isn't right. Wikipedia says that it was changed to Big Butt because No shame was a terrible name for a theatre. Well some people (not naming names) think Big Butt is an even worse name.

Thank you Patrick btw. I could some Adam Hahn stuff maybe as long as he sucked on my nipple this time. but the problem with your idea is that many times and I know this with Shelton's pieces, it was the personnel that made the piece funny in the first place. So replacing all the people would add a new twist, while this is true, it could ultimately make the night dull. Because we all have different types of delivery.

11/28/2005 11:44 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

eli --

you're dull. what happened to your imagination? i've already seen you guys perform all your own shit. i need some spice. no shame is like a marriage. and we are at the point where we need to start doing kinky sex things to make things more interesting. the last thing we need is to revert to old shit. regardless, shelton is performing any piece of mine.

11/29/2005 12:49 AM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

Wikipedia says there was an ATTEMPT to change it, but with little doesn't say it has been changed.

11/29/2005 8:24 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11/29/2005 9:06 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Okay Patrick. You want some spice? How about I perform your piece this week and you perform mine? It's dead week but still. My imagination isn't gone, I just don't think we should do that for Best Of.

And michael it does say that the name changed on wikipedia. And I quote:
"In the fall of 2005, Jamal River, Michael Tabor, and Alyssa Bowman, three Iowa City Board members,changed the name of No Shame Theatre to "Big Butt Theatre." They claim that "No Shame is a terrible name. ... So far, their efforts have had little success, apart from officially changing the name of "No Shame" to "Big Butt."

So it does say the name changed there but most people still don't like the change and still consider it "No Shame"

11/29/2005 9:12 AM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

Fuck you and your pedantic bullshit, Eli, always correcting and nagging and picking away at Michael's dreams.

11/29/2005 12:14 PM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

You're right. Is used to say attempted...I looked through the history and SOMEBODY changed it...Evan.

11/29/2005 1:03 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

It looks like the board is meeting Thursday to set the BONS order, which gives you two more days to make nominations.

Thank you to everyone who has already posted your favorites. I'm making a list of what you liked, and your opinions will be part of our discussion. (Blah, blah, blah . . . not actually democratic . . . blah, blah . . . STOP CALLING IT BIG BUTT!)

11/29/2005 2:53 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...


11/29/2005 7:53 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

the only reason i am opposed to big butt is because i don't think my own butt is big enough. and i don't want to be excluded from the festivities. i think adam also has the same concern. his butt is not that big either.

11/30/2005 9:45 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Even the people who came up with the name "big butt" don't have large rear ends.

11/30/2005 11:50 AM  
Blogger aprille said...

You people are no help. I assembled all the orders from the semester, then I bold-faced the ones that were nominated for BONS, and seriously like half the list is nominated.

Either you guys are too nice, or this has been a really good semester.

11/30/2005 2:42 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

A large part of that problem probably comes from the fact that each person has a different "favorite" piece from each writer, so there's a lot of people nominated for multiple pieces even though each person can only really perform once (uh... I think). This can be solved with logic.

The best way to sift through would probably be to list the writers that were nominated, then under each of list which pieces were nominated in order of how many people mentioned them. Then, exercising the board's dictatorial powers, you can select which of the aforementioned pieces for each author is the best, giving due consideration to the will of those who nominated them. If you end up with too many, simply discard the weakest pieces.

Of course, this seems rather complex and everyone would understand if you just did whatever you wanted.

11/30/2005 3:02 PM  
Blogger Shelton said...

Damn you and your logic, Evan! No Shame isn't about "orderly process" and "logical methods of selection" It's about passion! Driving by the seat of my pants passion! Do you think the 3 no shame rules were derived from logic!? Were the board members selected through democratic process? NO! They were selected the same way I write my pieces: a drunken orgy of name-calling and ass-grabbing. And THAT'S the true meaning of Christmas. Bitches.

11/30/2005 3:53 PM  
Blogger timm said...

How did you know about the ass grabbing? Noone is allowed in Executive Board meetings besides members...

11/30/2005 4:05 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I laughed out loud at that, Shelton, and this is just the freaking blog! you guys are craaaaazy!

So what if you ask the actual performers which piece they would like to do? I know I would much rather perform Postsecret than 300 is a large number. Does personal preference come into it at all?

11/30/2005 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here are my nominations

Blink 182 - What's My Age Again

KC & jojo - all my life

the other jojo - leave(get out)

and Star Wars Episode 3

11/30/2005 7:32 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...


I actually have a list much like the one you suggest. It's organized by author and indicates how many times each piece was nominated.


My list even includes a coding system to indicate author's preference, if known.


We disagree with the nominating public and the authors. You may see things at BONS not even mentioned here.

If you read this as late as Thursday afternoon, it is not too late to cast your votes. Even one nomination might start a discussion that will get something into the show we wouldn't otherwise remember.

11/30/2005 11:08 PM  
Anonymous Adam said...

Sorry, a paragraph in the last post should have begun, "We may disagree . . . "

11/30/2005 11:10 PM  
Anonymous Jake said...

I'd really like to hear a King Toad song at BOBB. Any of the two that he did, or even a different one.

11/30/2005 11:14 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

adam -- personally i'd like to see my piece about my God.

tizz the season, muthafucka!

11/30/2005 11:48 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12/01/2005 1:20 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

I personally think that the Best Of order should be heavily based on it's nominations. The problem with having the dictoral selection is that if the board were to not like a certain writer, but a lot others didn't mind and or like some of their pieces then that person should not be excluded based solely on the boards personal opinions. You see this has been really bugging me for a while. Last year I felt as if the entire board hated me and wanted me to stop performing. And to some extent I still feel that (what whith Michael constantly flipping me off and shooting down everything I say, as he probably will with this comment or Adam when he critized my experiment offensive/ serious pieces and made me suck his nipple at the same time.) It's the reason I usually don't have them in my pieces.

This also brings me back to a comment I made previously in the semester. People have different senses of humor! What's funny to the crowd, might not be funny to the board. Should that piece be excluded because the minority didn't like it? I say no. The common saying is that they are trying to make the best night of entertainment possible, if that's the case appeal to the masses, not the few. You may ask: What could we do to change this? or say "there really isn't anything else we can do." But what if we were to make the nominations more open to the crowd. Like hand out pieces of paper with the directions on how to get on this blog and nominate their favorites. Take the top ones, but only one from each writer and you got a show. Of course bad pieces could get in with a good mob behind it, but it could raise attendance. As well as make the crowd feel like they have a say which could spark some good new writers. Sad to say, sometimes you have to sort of 'sell out' to get more people. Just look at Weezer and "Beverly Hills"... I hate that song... but a lot of other people do. But you must have faith in your fellow man, they know the pieces that are good and they will vote for them.

Remember what we learned from the first crusade: People are like sheep. Give them what THEY want, and they will follow you. (if you want an explanation of that similie above just say so)

12/01/2005 1:26 AM  
Anonymous Adam said...


Is your God Jennifer Connelly, Eric Landuyt, oblivion, or the female breast?

12/01/2005 7:55 AM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Eli, if we obey the crowd, we will only have pieces like Jacob Zawa's crazy rap-poetry with his shirt half open and the performance arts floor cheering their heads off! (Who, by the way, never came again after that performance.)

we have leaders because they are able to LEAD us. I'm fine with them making some dictatorial decisions (as long as there isn't a John Leigh piece in BoNS, because I think that's silly!! who even is this guy? I don't care about Gomez!).

12/01/2005 8:03 AM  
Blogger Shelton said...

Fuck you and your politics. You are so copying me, Eli. And P.S. I like the song "Beverly Hills". I'm listening to it right now. Just to spite you.

12/01/2005 8:05 AM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Also, I guess I haven't listed my own nominations, which are:

Danielle -- 5 more minutes
Patrick -- dropping his phone in shit
Adam -- substitute teacher
Shelton -- milkshake machine
Eli -- we are anarchists

These were my ultimate favs of the semester!

12/01/2005 8:08 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

All I'm saying is that the board should serve less like an oligarchy but rather more like an electoral college. And so nominations are more like meaningful votes rather than subtle suggestions that they might choose to completely ignore (because of the massive number of different pieces nominated). Because that's the impression that I got about the nom. system.

12/01/2005 8:59 AM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

Eli, Eli, Eli. You're simply and obviously wrong. What you're trying to do is maintain a clearly corrupt power structure (i.e. the No-Shame Board) in the face of mounting evidence that it is standing in the way of progress. The correct response to this situation is to utterly destroy the No-Shame board and end its reign of tyranny.

But not because they will fail to select something funny! Michael Tabor, Adam Hahn, Aprille Clark, Jamal River, and Timm Sitzmann are all responsible for some of the funniest pieces of the semester. In fact, if I picked a top five most awesome pieces the only non-board member piece on there would be probably be Shelton and his Milkshakes. I trust that they will select good pieces for the performance.

Therefore, we're not going to remove them out of concern for that. We're going to cast them from power and execute them for crimes against the people. For liberty, equality, fraternity, and most of all for the benefit of posterity, the No-Shame Board must be destroyed.

So you should get right on that, Eli. I'll be right behind you, probably.

12/01/2005 9:14 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Oh my god Evan... seriously. First you stand me up after you knocked up my girlfriend now you are trying to push me into leading a full on revolution?! I'm not that crazy. I like the board members and their pieces just as much as everyone else. I just think the Best Of selection system should be reorganized. I don't want to remove them from the throne. They do a lot of other things that are good. Like arrange where we'll be and deal with the rent. I say we just pull a King John I and slap a magna carta in front of them.

E' GADDS WHASSA MEESSA SAYING? ... ... oh jesus. I just quoted Jar Jar... I should go kill myself now.

12/01/2005 9:32 AM  
Blogger Shelton said...

Killing yourself is always a good policy. You should really get on that. And by "that" I mean "the ledge of a very tall building" and by "get on" I mean "jump off".

12/01/2005 11:56 AM  
Blogger Leslie said...

aaaaaaaaaaaahhh, eli, you said we should somehow be like the electoral college, and that makes me want to vomit all over the place! the electoral college! aaaaaahhh! corruption! aaaah! kill kill kill

12/01/2005 7:46 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

You can kill me if you want Leslie... seriously right now I would welcome death with open arms. because of all the stress in with everything and everybody right now. I know the ellectoral college has made mistakes in the past but in the end it mostly gets it right.

12/02/2005 1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was just reading through some old comments about No Shame this fall and I was a comment I really dissagreed with. I thought Jacob Zawa's performance at No Shame was great. He was inovative to say the least--mixing up the recent monotany--and damn on target. I don't think it was just his crownies who liked him, he was just plain good.

12/31/2005 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you are al ridiculous. Pieces like Jacob Zawa's are an essential part of an evolving idea. That idea being No Shame. None of us were there when it was created and none of us will be there when it ends... hopefully. No Shame has taken a serious turn for the worse and it is experimental and edgy pieces that can bring new life.

1/01/2006 5:11 PM  
Anonymous Shelton said...

I'm only funny because i have tits!

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