IC 4-6-07
Nudity for the third consecutive week.
Labels: Iowa City
posted by AdamEggHahn at 11:30 AM
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40 Comments:
1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann
2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens (moving tiger, monkey, banana one at a time)
3. "A Pointless Opportunity to Get Some Frustrations off of My Chest and Throw It at You, Even Though You Could Care Less. Besides Half of Which Is Stated in This Piece Is Only Partially True or Not True at All" by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script)
4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er) (Crackerjack prize: No Shame regular)
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley (the making of an asshole)
6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs
7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward & Jamal River
8. "Song" by King Sophie
9. "Five-Minute Secret to Happiness" by Adam Hahn
9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram
10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evna Schenck
11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin
A really shitty review.
1. "Todd and Stan" - Liked.
2. "Food Chain" - the real solution:
Take the monkey across first.
Then take the tiger.
Then take the monkey back.
Then take the banana.
Then return for the monkey.
3. "Pointless Opportunity" - I liked seeing the paper fly.
4. "Guess Who?" ?
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole" - hard transitions, would have been better with rehearsal.
6. "You Don't Need VH1" - I've heard of Piss Christ but not Chocolate Jesus.
7. "Like Monsters" - Jake!
8. "Song" - didn't listen to the lyrics, just enjoyed the sight of Sophie playing that teeny accordion.
9. "Five Minute Secret" - ok.
9.5. "Liz Makes Love" - erotic.
10. "Trust Me" - too slow.
11. "Orange Sketch" - Greg shouldn't have hidden behind that script.
Announcements and order? PERFECT.
>1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann
I'm not sure what I would've thought about this piece if I were watching it. I think I would have liked it. I've always liked the idea of stage direction for audience members like that. That was great.
>2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens (moving tiger, monkey, banana one at a time)
I'm not sure that this went so well. It seemed a little tedious and it dragged for me a little.
>3. "A Pointless Opportunity to Get Some Frustrations off of My Chest and Throw It at You, Even Though You Could Care Less. Besides Half of Which Is Stated in This Piece Is Only Partially True or Not True at All" by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script)
I thought Adam wrote this and I was very pleased with the line about the factiously ruled No Shame. I still am, I suppose.
>4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er) (Crackerjack prize: No Shame regular)
After hearing the author of this piece, and seeing Columbo Card get on stage, I thought to myself, "Please don't let this be about me." Then when Columbo Card was putting that thing together to see who it was, I thought "Please don't let it be me." Then it was. I wasn't pleased.
>5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley (the making of an asshole)
This was pretty complicated! I tried my best to keep up my part and that got all my attention, so I don't know much about how I liked it.
>6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs
What was this about? I don't remember it! Katy, remind me what your piece was and I'll tell you if I "liked it" or "didn't like it." But, I'm assuming since you wrote it, and I'm usually a fan of your work that I DID like it!
>7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward & Jamal River
Reading this before the show, I liked it. Doing it was fun. Trying to keep a straight face about Jake was HARD. A couple people asked me after the show who wrote it and said they liked it as well. I'd like to see this one is Best Of. It was very well written and Jake was so funny as the wife!
>8. "Song" by King Sophie
I love Sophie's songs and I love accordions, so I loved this. The accordion part was simple, yes, but I think it was very good backing music.
>9. "Five-Minute Secret to Happiness" by Adam Hahn
Sooooo good, but a little inside jokey, I think.
>9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram
Liz is a shining bright new star writer with a lot of potential!
>10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evna Schenck
Evna, sometimes you are hit and miss, but when you hit you hit a HOMERUN. This was great, Evna.
>11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin
My favorite part was when Janani ran out and grabbed the script away from Greg and then slapped Greg in the penis.
6. "You Don't Need VH1" - I've heard of Piss Christ but not Chocolate Jesus.
Oh, right! This piece was really good. Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras) was way early BEFORE Lent, though...not this week. Also, my favorite Holy Week day is SPY WEDNESDAY. I just like the name of the day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spy_Wednesday
Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras) was way early BEFORE Lent
GODDAMNIT! I did so much research and I tried so hard to get it right and I still got it wrong! Forget about my piece, it was crap with such a mistake. DAMNIT!
It pisses me off when I'm so completely wrong like that. Son of a bitch.
Arrrggghhhh.
Michael and I are maybe overly enthused about our new internet connection.? I've been on the "webbe" twice, for maybe 15 minites each,<,> so far. in the hour I've been awake. Michael, I've readed your posts and had a hardy laff, I've seen you in real life for 30 seconds. And that was to talk about the internetS! ZaZOUNGDD!!!! (Janani's:I DID enjooy your review a swell, shitty or no; but I saw you today for ABSOLUTE 0 2nds so far. [Feet, I did liked your order-posting, in addition! Not to leave anyone oot, Popo!]AND KATY ham bagg's post which I just see, too!>and the posted FUture!!!!TOO))
Listen, peeps, I gots to lay out FLAT for ya's, from the gettidy-GOba, ho-beast!: I -HEARTED - last "Night Without Armor"'s No Shmae Spektaliniation! Thumbs up, mo-fo! let the Kristian live a lil!
Reasons to J-Love a showingclude:It was short as a squat untwice ass ZANY! (Oooo, speaking of: remind me to tell you about this one GALLGHER! routine sometime! ! ! And no, not that played out "waterymelons", we're talkin, like, a box of SMASHED UP GRAHAM'S CRACKERS!! No Lie, Gimp!!!)
(The truth is that I ran out of juice so I had "Dr. Pepper" and I ran out of "cereal and milk" so I had cookies.)
1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann
This was really fun to read, really fun to be in, and I bet really fun to watch!!!eeeee!!, but all 3 totally different experiences, I 'spect. I wish I could have paid attention to what the other characters were doing, cuz on paper, and out the corner of my eye's, twas pretty lovely.
2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens (moving tiger, monkey, banana one at a time)
I enjoyed this; I got the feeling it didn't go quite as hoped? but I'm not sure of the desired results.
3. "A Pointless Opportunity to Get Some Frustrations off of My Chest and Throw It at You, Even Though You Could Care Less. Besides Half of Which Is Stated in This Piece Is Only Partially True or Not True at All" by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script)
I also too thought Adam wrote it, and I was like, "What, Adam throws his shit all over the stage and makes Eli pick it up?" A-Bow set me straight. Smacked me sobre.
4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er) (Crackerjack prize: No Shame regular)
When I heard the "author" name read in the order, I very briefly thought "that's weird, wussit mean?". When I saw the piece I thought the same, but in a not-a-bit-remembring-the-othre-thing sort of way. Later Tabor told me it was a Columbo Card piece, ang I was like "thassa shame". not till today this afternoon jussa minute ago did I even get reminded of the author creditship, or make any correlation. Makes a man/lady/baby a lil uncomfortable. I move on, yo.
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley (the making of an asshole)
Seemed like the piece had a few distinct, somewhat dissimilar sections. I'm predictably unable to remember details, but left with the impression that there was a chunk in the middle I was fond of.
6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs
Good stuff, I thought. (I didn't know about the gaff, thank goodness, and was therefor allowed to enjoy the piece in blissful ignorance) There were some pretty excellent lines. I remember hearing the bit about Falcor (sp?) saving Jesus, & thinking what a nice image that was, and how it never would have occurred to me on my own.
7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward
& Jamal River
My new favorite episode of Susan's fav TV favorites!
8. "Song" by King Sophie
I liked a lot. I liked the lyrics/vocals, & the sound of the accordion chords, & thought the 2 were particularly well suited for each other. I'd say "Best Of", in the sense that it was, one of the, to me, best offed. But in real time I fear the... what...? uhm, sort of... intimate, subtle nature of the song would be hard to reproduce, & easily drowned out in a big dumb Mabie-like environment.? ...I guess that's just a way to say, "That was a cool thing, I'm lucky to have seen it!" and sound like a twat at the same time. CheckMARK!
9. "Five-Minute Secret to Happiness" by Adam Hahn
Really enjoyable, for me, anyway. Even though I felt rather pleased to be privy to the jive, I was confused by one or two things. All I remember specifically was some line to the effect of "send them a picture of your genitals after they have experienced sexual pleasure"? I think? Anyway, for better or worse, I'm almost positive I know the picture being referenced, but I'm kind of perplexed by the apparent allusion to sexual arousal, (...or to... some sort of... weird, gross, identifiably-post-coital appearance? I dunno). Looked like a reglear dick n balls, to me. [Reminds me, though, I was hanging out with my friendly neighborhood bike courier friend, and the boss guy at the alcoholic store we were stopped at says, "You wanna see what my wife sent me?" Twas a cell phone picture message thinger of a lady's beaver-wif-two eyes on its sides, and having below it a huge gross anus that is the implied mouth of the implied face and is, it would certainly seem, whistling the Andy Griffin theme. My friend was offended and repulsed, having apparently having had quite enough of those shenanigans during his years of service at the local porn market. I tried to lend a sympathetic ear to his tales of the evils of porn, but mossly I just kept laughing and laughing. I mean, I don't suppose I overly care for porn jokes myself, but... the dude's wife sent him a whistling butthole, right?]
9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram
Great. Wonderful.
10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evna Schenck
The offered compromise of putting on socks murdered me. Other parts, too, but that was the CREAM DE LA CREMEY!
11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin
Always interesting to see who decides to be nude at No Shame. I never pegged Greg for the type, honestly (no offense... if any can be taken from that statement), but I heard him says he's an ol pro: got nudity down pat. Or something like that. Don't quote me on it or no thing.
for maybe 15 minites each
ummm, maybe A MILLION minutes more like! Which is how long it takes me to write a stupie review!
Andy Griffin
or "Griffith" as some people call him. Durt.
Hey I haven't done this review thing in a while so here we go!
1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann
I like how I didn't know what the f was going on with everyone running around and asking for the drinks and shit. But other than that I liked the onstage stuff.
2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens (moving tiger, monkey, banana one at a time)
-Ran a bit too long and originally I thought Timm had stolen the Banana and didn't give it back. But I did like the audience participation.
3. "A Pointless Opportunity to Get Some Frustrations off of My Chest and Throw It at You, Even Though You Could Care Less. Besides Half of Which Is Stated in This Piece Is Only Partially True or Not True at All" by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script)
-The paper throw was cool. And yes I wrote this, not Adam. One page even stuck to the wall! Weirdz! and Yes that was the script I am currently working on.
4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er) (Crackerjack prize: No Shame regular)
-Eh. Needed a more surprising ending.
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley (the making of an asshole)
-Hella confusing. I kinda knew what was going on. But other than that I think it had a lot of promise. Maybe needed to focus more.
6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs
-Great. My friends laugh made it funnier as well.
7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward & Jamal River
-It could've used some editing and maybe more cohesiveness in Michaels speech but other than that I liked it.
8. "Song" by King Sophie
-Yay. A song.
9. "Five-Minute Secret to Happiness" by Adam Hahn
- I felt I didn't do the piece justice. And that my reactions weren't good enough. Plus I was trying to call someone in the audience and actually have them answer for the end. When they didn't pick up I just faked it. Sorry Adam for the slow ending.
9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram
Tee hee.
10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evna Schenck
- I want more of that biting Evan Schenck-ness. It seems you've become less of an asshole lately Evan. It makes me sad. Be mean again. Be mean.
11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin
-Pretty funny. Greg, you are WAY more attractive than Shelton in the nude. Other than that it was pretty fun to watch. I almost forgot to steal your clothes but when I did, I did it good. If I would've got them all then I would've left them on the cats. But I failed.
ps. That last bit was a joke.
Can we make it so one person is naked every No Shame until the end of the semester? That'd be hot.
Also I liked how fast we got the order, rules, and announcements out. Short, simple, not trying to being anything that it's not. It was cute.
Oh and wouldn't it be cool if for like Dead Week we all wrote scripts that were all connected and made one big story? That'd be cool wouldn't it? Wouldn't it? Yeah.
Oh and I too like a fascist ruled No Shame. Ever since I was a small child, I've wanted to be on the ruling side of an oligarchy.
What else do I got? Umm... nothing. Bumble bee tuna, people. Bumble bee tuna.
I found this show very interesting, I noticed it was almost precisely 52 minutes in length, which is the name ("52") of a fairly popular DC comic, which, interestingly enough, has a lot of the same themes from the pieces Friday night. I am very curious: was this at least partially intentional, or was it some sort of weird coincidence? Either way, I found parts of the show very interesting and I would like to share some impressions, for anyone who's interested.
1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann
I assume the piece was referencing Stan Lee & Todd McFarlane, but I'm unclear on what it was trying to say about them, or who the so-called "no guy" was.
2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens (moving tiger, monkey, banana one at a time)
Crouching Tiger is often thought to be just an Iron Monkey rip off, which I agree with. This was pretty clever to me.
3. "A Pointless Opportunity to Get Some Frustrations off of My Chest and Throw It at You, Even Though You Could Care Less. Besides Half of Which Is Stated in This Piece Is Only Partially True or Not True at All" by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script)
I couldn't understand what he was saying a lot of the time, and I kept thinking about the last piece.
4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er) (Crackerjack prize: No Shame regular)
"DC Comics L.E.G.I.O.N. '93 Comic Book # 52, Shadow Stalker!" Now, if you want to call this yet another coincidence (STALKER?! #52?) then that's fine, but you have to admit it makes you wonder.
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley (the making of an asshole)
It sounded like a horror story, I wonder if there's any truth to it.
6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs
7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward & Jamal River
I have no idea what this was supposed to be about
8. "Song" by King Sophie
9. "Five-Minute Secret to Happiness" by Adam Hahn
For those who don't know & didn't figure out the secret: you take the fifty-second word in each issue of 52. Take the first letter of every third word (then skip one, don't skip one, skip two, don't skip one, and repeat). It spells out "Mopee will return to claim the lightning." Swear to God, look it up for yourself.
9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram
"Devil Dinosaur", or am I out of left field here?
10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evna Schenck
Re: Dr. Fate and "52", wiki has this to say: "A voice from within the helm of Doctor Fate speaks to Dibny and promises to fulfill his desires if he makes certain sacrifices. Dibny journeys with the helm through the afterlives of several cultures, where he is cautioned about the use of magic. (...) At Nanda Parbat, Rama Kushna tells Dibny, 'The end is already written.'"
11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin
1) Todd & Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy--this was cool, particularly with the audience stuff.
2) Food Chain--very fun. In retrospect, I'm worried I might have screwed this piece up by being Janani's straight man… on second thought, nah. Janani plays a great stupid person. Note I wrote *plays.*
3) Pointless Opportunity--this was actually quite strong. We've all been there, Eli.
4) Guess Who? Fun. Would have been even better if Michael himself had been in the box, but this might have required a bigger box.
5) Biggest Asshole--sharply written, but pieces with a lot of props & stage directions are tough.
6) You don't Need VH1: Funny, and there were some great lines in here.
7) Like Monsters--Jake does a great upper-crust British woman. Very enjoyable. Could be even better with a rehearsed soft-shoe and by slicing about 30 seconds off.
8) Song--In fact, that was some pretty good accordian playing.
9) Five Minute Secret to Happiness. This was good, and, Eli was great, but at this point, my mental bar for Adam Hahn pieces is so high I don't know if he'll ever top it again.
*9.5) Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur--this is causing me to laugh as I write it.
10) Trust Me, I'm a Doctor--almost as good as "Dr. Adventure." I mean this as a high compliment when I say Evan's one of the few people who could make cancer funny.
11) Orange Sketch, Pt. III--This piece was just as I visualized it; many thanks to the actors. I think "For Christ's sake, put your fucking clothes on! It's Easter!" and Jamal's question to me are two of the favorite NoShame pieces.
If by some chance this gets into Best Of, I think I'll have Janani steal the script again.
Hey there. The name's Biverly Clearly, and I'm new to this here Iowa City "No Shame" scene. I used to be a board member at the "No Shame" in St. Elsewhere, so I do have a little experience in the matter though! Listen, don't get me wrong, I think everybody should be able to express themselves! If yuou want to do a piece, I'll give 'em hell who tries to stop you! Go all out!
Hi! This is Biverly again! I just had a very funny idea for a piece and I need your input! A man falls onto the stage and shout, "I broke me jaw!!!" and then guts SHOOT out, onto the stage!!! If I lay down a tarp will this be accepted? Is it a good idea?
Sincerely,
Biverly Clearly
No Shame
Well hi! My name is Timberly Betty, but my friends just call me 'mberly Betty! I'm new to this whole No Shame thing, though I did write some theatre for California once, and I'm very excited to get involved! But my concern is that people will steal my ideas from me and sell them! Already: I remember that I came up with Ms. Clearly's theatre idea about guts and a broken jaw a long time ago! So maybe the reason it sounded like such a good idea, Biverly, is that IT'S MINE!!! I'm waiting to hear the explanation for THIS one, man oh man! But anyway, can't wait to see you all again on Friday! Do you think I should perform the jaw guts piece, or has Biverly ruined the surprise?
Your friend,
'mberly Betty
I'm eyrate! Timberly, I don't even know you! What are you talking about?! You are a wack-o! I never stole an idea! I AM going to do my breaking jaw/shooting guts piece this Friday, Timberly! It's mine and I'm very proud and stoked to do it! I will ask to go in the order before you so if you rip me off everyone will know it, plus I'll have Adam Han make an announcement about it! We'll see who looks like the loser THEN, Timberly! Everyone will see that it's you! Good day sir!
Biverly Clearly
No Shame
Hey-o. The name's Shamus McDuff, and I got a proposal for ya's. I been keepin' a mean eye on this here "web log", lookin' for the next "big thing" in No Shame Comedy Night, and by-Hoosephvat I've found it. These two dames, Biverly and Timberly, there's real energy goin' there. POP. You can hear it. Forgive me, I'm a simple man. But this I know: I know how to pick a winner, that I do know. And these two firecrackers -SNAP-. It's a winner.
Here it is, plain and simple: they have a face punching fight to the death and we sell tickets, $300 a pop. I will give half the profits to "No Shame Comedy Night!", the other half I will keep for me. Please let me know the specs ASAP, get the details all ironed out.
Respectfully,
Shamus "Burg-o-man" McDuff
FacePunchFight Inc.
How about all you fake people stop wasting our time with your stupid fucking posts!That would be nice. Don't you think that would that be nice? Cause I think it would.
And I should know. I'm a real poster on here. So go fuck with someone elses blog. Because I'm tired of you assholes on this one.
Oh and Jml... the blood on my hands (from last week) was yours. In my head I beat you in under three rounds. It was sweet.
Oh and Jml... the blood on my hands (from last week) was yours. In my head I beat you in under three rounds. It was sweet.
I think that if you go re-look, Jamal was completely silent about the whole "blood on my hands" fiasco, you will see something going like this:
YOU: Blood on my hands, blood on my hands.
ME:That's good...is it a song? Do you want me to play accordion.
YOU: Go ahead...maybe I'll tell you who made it...
Jamal remained silent during all of that, so I'm not sure how you beat him? Please! Explain...
Jamal suggests to me that maybe you mean that you had a fantasy about beating him in under three rounds? I think if that's the case, then I should sue you for STEALING ME IDEA! That piece was TOTALLY MINE and I performed it, like, a million times in a row! God! I can totally see what Biverly and McDuff are talking about! Ideas are getting stolen all the time this webboard! Biverly and Mcduff, STEER CLEAR!
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I like No Shame. Here is a review of the show:
1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann - This prank made no sense! This THEIF is a no-good-theiving-THEIF! I HATE HIM
2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens (moving tiger, monkey, banana one at a time) - Did you ever hear about how to eat a monkey! In Temple of Doom, the eat its brains because the think that it will make them smarter. Because monkeys are smarter than humans? HAHAHAH!
3. "A Pointless Opportunity to Get Some Frustrations off of My Chest and Throw It at You, Even Though You Could Care Less. Besides Half of Which Is Stated in This Piece Is Only Partially True or Not True at All" by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script) - This was really, really good! As a riter, I think that I can totally relate ot the frustrashuns that were portraed in it.
4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er) (Crackerjack prize: No Shame regular) - This was great, but I didn't get it?
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley (the making of an asshole) - I could totally relate to this one two!
6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs - Is this the one where she had booze up her bagina? That was HOT!
7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward & Jamal River - Weird and not very good...it annoyed me and that guy was screachy and dumb.
8. "Song" by King Sophie - I like it! Do you have CDs?
9. "Five-Minute Secret to Happiness" by Adam Hahn - HAHAHAHA! I have totally done that to my friend Malc! Before he died :(
9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram - So bad! That OTHER guy was screachy and I hated it.
10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evna Schenck - I didn't get it? Was the joke that the doctor wasn't wearing shoes?
11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin - There wern'te any orangesw in it!
Hey, everybody...I wrote a little No Shame Fan Fiction. Let me know what you think...I might write more!
NO SHAME FAN FICTION: The Burlap Sack
by Michael Tabor
One time, Jesse Blaine and Shelton were standing on the street. You know…just hanging out how they usually do and having fun and laughing and telling jokes that are funny! They were acting just like they do on stage and it was so funny! And it’s weird, because nobody was watching them…it’s just that they act that way in real life too!
So, while they were doing this, a truck drove by on the street and coming out the back and falling onto the street was a burlap sack! And it had sparkley sparkles on it!
“Oh,” said Jesse Blaine, “that burlap sack is so cool looking! I think that I might need and want to keep it for my own burlap sack collection.”
“Hold on just one minute there,” was the reply given by Shelton, “but I think that I may want to EAT that burlap sack!”
Well, as you can imagine, two bestest pals like Blaine and Shelton could have quite a conflict if one of them want to put a burlap sack in their collection, but the other wants to eat the sack. I mean, these guy are also very funny, but that’s not the only thing that they can do. Sometimes they can be serious or sad. This was one of those times.
They stared each other down and their eyeballs were the only thing that you could see. They were all squinty. Like in that movie about cowboys eating spaghetti.
Jesse Blaine had and idea: “I think maybe we should take this ordeal to Adam Hahn for him to decide what we should do with this sack.”
Adam Hahn thought about the sack and he said: “Flip a coin!”
And as he said it, just as though it were magic, about a million Saca-G’s rained from the skies and they all were turned up tails.
Shelton was confused! “Who wins? Nobody even ever called heads or tail yet!”
This was true, and Shelton knew it. That’s one of the things about Shelton is that he is so very smart. Like, he’s a business major and everything so he can figure things out like that. I think maybe that that is something that helps him to be so funny and smart on stage.
Jesse Blaine tried to think hard about a way that maybe he could convince Hahn and Shelton to think that he actually did yell tails. He thought for a full minute of silence and then yelled out: “Tails!”
It was perfect timing! Just like how you see such good comedy timing from him on stage.
All them laughed and laughed and laughed.
“Jesse Blaine, I don’t believe you that you yelled out ‘tails’ in time, but it was so funny that you yelled it out when you did, that I think that you deserve to have and keep the burlap sack for you collection.”
Jesse and Shelton walked home and Jesse had a big, charming smile on his face because he loved the burlap sack so much!
“I don’t think that that was fair,” said Shetlon, “Jesse.”
Shelton felt that he should probably have fighting chance at that burlap sack, because he didn’t think it was fair that Jesse got it for making a joke, because Shelton is good at telling funny jokes too!
“I’ll tell you what,” Jesse exclaimed, “We can compromise! You can eat the sack. I have enough already.”
And then Jesse, because he is nice and generous and charming, gave it right over to Shelton.
Then they were both happy and funny and charming and they all still hung out on that street every night and acted like they do at No Shame.
I can get so steamed sometimes! And yes, this is one of them!!! Listen Mr. "McDuff", either yours is a rude, sophomoric prank, or you are truly a vile, reprehensible human being who I will report to the authorities immediately! I agree that there must be less mucking about on this webroom and it should be a lot more serious! STOP BEING WEIRD & ANNOYIG!
Biverly Clrealy
No Shame
Sheesh, Biverly!Lighten up! Learn to take a joke! "Burg-o-Man"(?) was just joking around I'm sure he's not serious about it! Personally I thought it was kind offunny! And anyway we could have both come up with that jaw and guts skit at the same time I guess, so let's just call it a truce OK? See you at the show!
Sincerely
'mberly Betty
PS I still am planning to do the skit anyway FYI
You people are so retarded. Of COURSE Mcduff was a joke! I wrote it to make fun of you assholes! Jesus. Get a fucking clue.
Oh really fucking cute. Lets pretend to be me just so you can try to start some shit. Well whoever you are. You have something coming to you. I'm gonna perform this friday night and I'm gonna call you out. AND if you were a MAN you would take me up on that offer. And if you are a PUSSY like I think you are you'll run back to your hippy parents and snuggle up to their teets like a good little babe and suck them dry like the baby bitch you are.
Wow! Dicknosed, are you for real going to try to pick a punchy punch fight during the show tonight? Huh? Huh? Are ya? Huh? I mean, hats off... I guess: no doubt there's been many a slow-witted asshole throughout the course of No Shmae's illustrious career, but with this fool-proof plan, you sir, have a real shot at taking the title! Most Slow-Witted-est Asshole-iest Dicknose of them all! And what a story you'll have! "Yeah, I fuckin, urm, kicked some pussy's ASS, man! He, totally, grf, I think, urm, t'was he what totally posted some fuckin' GAY shit on a INTERNET blog! And, like, totally pussied about it! Used a FAKE name! Like, quite the total opposite of how I enjoy to always be using my REAL name which is DICKnose- *grf* SNOTnose!!! He a PUSSY!!! How dare he disrepect the holy sanctity of a very important BLOG and my TIGHT, TIGHT retarded ASS! urm...GRF!" You can use that, dude, verbatim, for your victory speech! Peace out, catch ya later bro!
-JRvr
This comment has been removed by the author.
Man, Tabro was right! You people'll swipe the 1st idear that floats your way! Look, Snotcock, you want in on the "No Shame Fight/(s?) To the Death Extra-Vaganza"? OK: meet me after the show and we'll talk, I can probably getcha booked for the next week or the week after. Tonight, though, everything is set for those two wild and wooly broads, Biverly & Timberly, to have at it! To the DEATH! $350 admittance (sorry for the increase, but the response has been overwhelming and I want to make more money from people! Also, Snotty, don't think you're gettin in on a discount just cuz I'm lookin at you for a future match. We don't play that shit here at "No Shame Fighting Match of Death Inc!" Oh yeah, also also, don't be telling people you wrote my posts! What's up with that?! Makes a fella grumble and gripe.)
See ya'll at the big punch and kill show tonight! Don't be late!
Respectfully,
Shamus "Waddle-Man" McDuff
Exec. Director, "No Shame Comedy Death Murder Fights Ltd."
Actual comments on the actual show
Announcements and order. Quick, but I felt we could have been more interesting without sacrificing time.
1. "Todd and Stan Play a Prank on the New Guy" by Timm Sitzmann
There was some interesting stuff here, but it didn't go anywhere.
2. "Food Chain" by Homo Sapiens
I liked Janani in this, but the (intentional or not) invitation for the audience to yell random stuff at her didn't work for me.
We (the people setting up the stage and the people making entrances/exits) are going to have to be more careful with those ghost lights, expecially now that they're started using toxic, (relatively) expensive CFL bulbs.
3. "A Pointless Opportunity . . . " by Eli Wilkinson (writer loves/hates script)
Eli had me refer to a fascist-ruled No Shame, not a factious-ruled No Shame. My diction is imperfect.
I messed up the stage directions, throwing the script too late, but then the whole thing exploded like it wasn't supposed to. Cool.
Boo to long titles.
4. "Guess Who?" by Celery Stalk(er)
Judging by MT's response, there is more to this than I understood.
5. "I'm the Biggest Asshole in the World, and I Love It!" by Janet Bentley
I think the bottom line is that we couldn't do the script as written without rehearsal. We came pretty close, but fifteen minutes of work would have made the thing much faster and better.
6. "You Don't Need VH1 to Have a Best Week Ever (fingersnap)" by Katy Baggs
There was a Chocolate Jesus. A big, naked Chocolate Jesus. People were upset, for some reason.
7. "Like Monsters" by Louis Hayward & Jamal River
Kind of funny, then less funny, then boring.
8. "Song" by King Sophie
Lovely.
9.5 "Liz Makes Love to a Dinosaur" by Liz Byram
Good.
10. "Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" by Evan Schenck
Wasn't one of the last lines something like, 'What a disappointing way to end a sketch"? If so, I wonder if the end would have been better if the disappointment had been acknowledged without breaking the fourth wall.
11. "The Orange Sketch, Part III: Easter" by Greg Machlin
Nudity at No Shame is often as much about the performer proving to himself that he can be naked onstage as it is about serving the needs of the script. (Which is cool. If baring your body helps you grow as a performer, then No Shame is the place to do it.) I liked what Greg did with the situation of his nudity: "Why are you standing naked over our dead friend", etc. I'm glad Janani stole the script, because Greg was using it as a crutch.
Nudity emphasizes the need to be off-book.
Aw snap! Speaking of actual comments on the actual show, thanks for being helpful & getting us back on topic & also reminding me, Adam: I can't even MAKE it to tonight's show! I can't believe I forgot! I try to go as very often as possible, but some evenings I do have to stay in all night on account of I need to so I can jack off into my own mouth! Over and over and many, many more times, too! But I COMPLETELY forgot that THIS was one of my designated I-will-ejaculate-into-my-mouth nights! Man do I feel like a goofus! Well, I guess it works out, since it sounds like Shamus has it all booked solid for tonight anyway. OK, so, well, bye for now then! See you all next week, hopefully! Have a fun show, break a leg! Yay! (I know it's only 3 in the afternoon, but I do need to right now get started with this whole "jacking off into my own mouth" business. I have a lot of work to get done, no time to waste! Yay!)
Love,
Craigery "Snotnoses!" Brintbottom
Okay Jml. This is getting out of hand. For one I do not set aside whole evenings to jack off into my mouth. I just do it. Believe me it saves the mess and you don't need a jizz rag. Mr. Jiz face. Oh and I'll be there tonight. And I'll show you what people like Adam Hahn really think of you when you are a mess on stage. And don't pretend to be me again. There is only room for one snot nose!
OMG! Dude, no! Are you telling me that my BEST PAL IN THE HO WID WORLD ADAM "FEET" HAHN SECRETLY... FINDS ME... ANNOYING, UNLIKABLE... or WORSE?!!! ...poof... goes my till-now hugantic self-esteem/image...........tears welling up like a mistyhahn... boobahooba... boobahooba (etc.)...
Still looking forward to our date, tho, girlfren! XXOO
Lovb,
Your MOM!!! !
fAFSRTb ©buRGERRR mAGUYIORRRT!@u09uj0
PAnoooobblIiWNNMO:::WEERRRRt!!!!!!!!! ! ! ! !!!!! ! ! ! !
why do 'e smerllsoo basdd /?????? ??
nc ssfwik !!!!11!
-snoftnosdddd!
Omg. You are all losin' your cool. No one is fighting anyone tonight. Not inside the building at least. If you don't take it outside then we may need to suspend someone for disobeying the no harming rule.
Oh, no doubt, Eli. I have no real way to say for positivity if Senior Nose is indeed a genuine psycho-tard, or if he's juss funny, funny pranks. But, dude: jackass though I may be, I'm not QUITE stupid enough to actually participate in a real-for-keeps good ol' fashion brawl while inside the building that No Shmae rents. (Contrary to some of the RACIER tabloids, I have no particular desire to "ruin" or "destroy likes a MONSTERfoot on you ROOF" the No Shmae Institution of Improv Skitch Comnedies, on account of how I totally like going to it! for fun and a neat thing to do! Well I guess you coud say it's what I like do!But heyu, tghatss justme!!!!! FRIDAY NITE FUNNNY FESST!! (but for reals, um, why would anybody go to something by choice for like a million years if they didn't enjoy it? Dicknose, why do YOU go, by the way? ...Nevermind, I'm sure it's beyond me.
Anyway, yeah, no No noShame fist hits or foot kicks or whatever, Vice Deputy Eli, I promise. If Mucus wants me to gouge his eye out in the parking lot on the other hand... (Juss playin! kinda!)
-J
Jake! Bring your blackjack! I think there's gonna be a tussle tonight!
I'll take the ugly one!
Which ones the ugly one?!
Oh! I have a good idea, Jamal and Jake. Let's call our fighting gang "The Dreidel The Kittens."
It's full of spunk and ...claws.
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