Tuesday, December 05, 2006

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Want to post a comment to one of the blog posts? Well, from now on you have to open a blogger account first.
Sorry about that, but blame the asshole(s) who has(ve) been pretending to be other people all day.

If this doesn't work, then we'll set it so only members of this blog (4 of us) can comment.



Anonymous Anonymous said...


12/05/2006 10:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Btw, the last post on mine in the 80-comment previous post ("seriously, though…") isn't mine either.

Eh, well, if nothing else it's fodder for next semester. I say we write 30-second sketches on being impersonated on the noshame blog and combine them into one no shame piece, or a series of 0.5s. And we could do it in the style of someone else.

I have my definite suspicions. It was clearly someone (or someones) who reads the blog regularly, goes to noshame regularly, and was familiar enough with people's work to correct minor details on both mine and Alisa's pieces. Won't accuse anyone without evidence, however.

12/06/2006 2:36 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Greg, why are you still up at this god forsaken hour? Sleep. You have class in the morning.

12/06/2006 2:55 AM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

WOW! I go home from work, and when I get in the next morning and check the webboard...it's gone INSANE.

I'm sorry I missed all that :(

12/06/2006 7:12 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

sure michael...or should i say 'PERSONATOR?! book 'em greg. he's your man.

12/06/2006 7:22 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

OMG, guys! i didnt post that! this is outrageous!!!

12/06/2006 7:23 AM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

What? I actually just tried to post that comment("OMG, guys! i didnt post that! this is outrageous!!!") as myself. I mean...I typed in MY log in ID and password as Michael Tabor, but then it showed up as being by Mortimer! What is going on here???

12/06/2006 7:48 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

SOME ONE IS USING HACKS! fucking n00bs! dont make me use my noshameblog GAME GENIE!

12/06/2006 8:25 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

guys...i havent been to no shame or been on the blog at all this semester. how in god's name did i get into best of? have it your way...bitches? i didnt write this piece! somebody has been using my login! AND theyve been impersonating me in PERSON! guys! Im in ghana right now, where ive been since last july! who is this imposter??? this is identity theft!!! he better not have stole all my GIRLFRIENDS!!!!!!!!

12/06/2006 8:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck guys! I mean Id odn't even remember my password using this thing. i don't know how this post is working now! I tried to sign up again and now its workign but I didn't write a password! UGH!I am not posting here again until things stop being all confusing like. SO if you see my name posting... its not me and you can tell me to fuck off. Jesus fucking CHrist.

12/06/2006 10:27 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

some one is apparently still using my login. ive never given the password to anyone, which is sort of troublesome seeing how i use the same password for pretty much EVERYTHING.

12/06/2006 10:32 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

LOL! thats not the REAL todd ristau! uh oh adam! looks like youre gonna need to make it so only you can comment!

12/06/2006 12:31 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

This is out of control.

12/06/2006 12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Won't accuse anyone without evidence, however."

That's a shame, I wish you would. I'd like to know your list of suspects. I'll tell if you will.

12/06/2006 1:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"this is fucking a great idea. When we invent no shame we say make it so people need to be a password they can talk about it. stan said "well whyat about a thertre where anything can happen?! and i said "NOW SHAME!" we had another drink!!!! To no shame theater secret passclub forever!"

I think maybe I want to be Todd Ristau's best friend. (I used to fear and resent him a little, now I only fear him.)

12/06/2006 1:15 PM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

"That's a shame, I wish you would. I'd like to know your list of suspects. I'll tell if you will."

I'd like to implicate The Sitz. I mean...think about it. This is all going to result in nobody but board members being allowed to post. The only people this will benefit is them! TIMM!

Especially since there have been some grumblings on the webboard lately that the board of directors isn't running things so well, or things could be better. Like the way pieces for BONS are picked.

This would be the perfect time for a guy, like The Sitz, to try to pull this off.

12/06/2006 1:25 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

i think its the crazy trailer park lady with no bra. shes retalliating against greg for ripping her on the blog. i must say, it seems to be working...

12/06/2006 1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Adam Hahn just emailed me and said he's going to start his own bloog where he talks about Noshame. its called King No Shame's Private Chambers. There will be many comments, too, but only by his own self.

A-Hahn also said he started a new No Shame on Saturday nights. He will do 15 pieces, run the lights, and tell people what to do. the board of dictators will be 5 adam Hans which he will spawn by mating with one luckly lady from No shame. it will be hard to chose which lady to put his Egg inside, because all the peoople of no sham love the way he loves, and he has a wide selection of lays to pick of.

12/06/2006 2:29 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

wow, thanks for the heads up todd.

12/06/2006 2:31 PM  
Blogger santangelo said...

you guys are losers. get a life.

12/06/2006 3:59 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

i have nothing to do with this. in fact, i just changed my password. now watch, youll be seeing a lot less of 'mortimer' on this blog. hack me now, ass.

12/06/2006 4:28 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

This is freaking ridiculous. Whoever is doing this needs to stop. Please. Theres a point when it's funny and then theres a point were it becomes harassment. Please quit this charade and leave this blog in peace. Thank you.

12/06/2006 6:20 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

Taking into consideration that the tone and content of this fellow's nefarious postings have indicated a personal knowledge of people at No-Shame and No-Shame oriented concerns, and that Mortimer Snert and Mortimer Snert alone has been "hacked", logic must lead us to one ineluctable conclusion:
This person has a personal vendetta against Mortimer Snert and is striking at him through the medium of the internet(s), this blog in particular.

Mortimer, we can help you. Is it Patrick? Is he hitting you?

12/06/2006 6:29 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Oooh Can I guess who's doing it? Can I? Can I? OH wait. I don't need to guess. I think it's very obvious who's doing it. Read the posts. All signs no matter how odd point in one direction.

12/06/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Oooh Can I guess who's doing it? Can I? Can I? OH wait. I don't need to guess. I think it's very obvious who's doing it. Read the posts. All signs no matter how odd point in one direction.

12/06/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Oooh Can I guess who's doing it? Can I? Can I? OH wait. I don't need to guess. I think it's very obvious who's doing it. Read the posts. All signs no matter how odd point in one direction.

12/06/2006 7:42 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Wtf. Why does it keep submitting that post every few minutes?

12/06/2006 7:42 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

if you guys are insinuating that i was behind this... fuck. seriously, thats not cool. i think this whole thing started off as funny and playful, but its gotten way out of hand. im not denying that this is the sort of thing that i would come up with, but there are certain lines that i would never cross. id say that line was crossed about 40 posts ago. are you guys being serious?

12/06/2006 8:33 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Mortimer I wasn't guessing you. I was just saying that to be a douche bag.

12/06/2006 11:18 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

No, I wasn't saying it was you, although even you had to admit that it has the essence of something you might do. My reading would be that it was some random person before, and you were making your own joke in this iteration of the blog by pretending to be hacked. But whatever.

These are the internets, people, and there's not really going to be any way of confirming who did or did not do it unless they show up in person at No-Shame and cop to it. Shit, I might have done it for all we know--although it's even more out of character for me than it would be for most anyone else. It might have been a member of Ashcraft's Legion of Doom; it could have been an agent of Michael Tabor's "Furious Gang of Five". I would have to discount Hahn's "Imperial Guard", however, because they lack the chaotic sensibility for this. And to be honest I wouldn't even care if you had done it.

The best thing to do would be just to leave anonymous posting disabled until maybe the start of the spring session, by which time the doppelganger army will have lost interest and moved on.

In conclusion, this fighting is tearing the family apart!

12/06/2006 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I already posted this on the other active thread. Whatever the fuck it wad. Ooo!dassaween! Wait.
I was all high and mighty giggly, and I wrote a dumb post and then I had to spend 300 minutes trying to log into this motherfucking thing I I got soberly grumped out. It wouldn't accept any passwords, and eventually it made me re-join as NEW FUN BLOG FRIEND! I don't even know how many of me there are now. For awhile it thought I was jamalriver, and I never fucking told the son of fuck my last name! What?! Shit! I hate you forever, secret blog passclub! Motherfuck you and your secret codes!

"Dude, I didn't even see the Rob Fumerton post till yesterday. Now I am seriously worked up. I laughed the hardest I'd laughed in... hours, at least (that might not sound so impressive, but yo, seriously, it was laughing really, really hard).
Doubleyou tee eff, though? Who the heck besides me knows Rob Fumerton (in relative detail) and is still in town to write a story about him going to No Shame? ...I guess it could be a long-distance forgery, but, it certainly SEEMED like Rob had really seen the show...
Did one of the demons get out of my head and start writing blog posts? I hope so, but shit."

Fuck you, blog. Where's my friend Robby? I'm gonna punch his kidney-BEANS!

12/07/2006 11:36 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

I posted this on the BONS board but I'll put it here as well.


For tonight IF we indeed are in Mabie theater for BONS be aware that the stage floor is raked. Meaning it slopes down from the back of the theatre to the front lip. So anything prop wise that you have that can roll probably will.

Also, someone will announce this later BUT avoid the front lip of the stage. It isn't reinforced and might break if you stand on it. (I'm lookin your way Papa Smurf) thanks and see you tonight.

Yours to molest,
Eli Douche Bag Wilkinson

12/08/2006 10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Old Robby F. will be there IN EFFECT! I watched a bunch ob old "Cheers" episodces before I left the house, to get in the mood for laughter!!! LOL< when Woody crammed a broomhandle up inside diAne I was rolling on the floor!!! Anywhoo, i hope i see something as funny as that tonight. probably i won't! unlys Evan broom-sticks old Egg-eye.

hope i don't need a pass-code tog et into the threater.

12/08/2006 1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I guess today is a good day is that I went to work and did LOTS OF THINGS and STILL got my work MOSTLY DONE!and then I even had a little time left to talk to my pal ol' Robbley Funbernant.!!!
I WILL see you at the show t2-nite, Rubby! I will buy you a back of Doritos and you can geyt sick-ass yellow shit caked all over your mouth and fingers like in olden times! Let the old times come and be fun with us!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
-Areli "Jamal" Rivers!

12/08/2006 3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here, Adam. I reposted this for you. She answers your question from her own point of view! (I also reposted this on the other thread, but that was an accident).

janani said...

Pieces that were better on second viewing:
1. "Deep Intellectual Monologue" - Bravo Shelton. The DAAAAADS were even more aggressively pathetic this time. Loved it.
3. "Sad Song" - The choruses worked better this time.
4. "This Cake Is Not For You" - At last, an Evan piece that clocks in just right. The cuts made it so much more effective. Patrick was a great choice as the cake eater; as he was taunting Michael Tabor I thought, "He reminds me of a smooth high school villain from a John Hughes movie. One of those guys who leans up against a locker and destroys you with a look." I want to see these two together onstage more often!
5. "Rigga the Fart Machine" - Seeing this in closeup was way funnier. Jake turned so red! And then when he took his hands away from his face, it turned white! Just like strawberries and cream!
7. "Stiff Upper Lip" - Lydia spoke more clearly this time. All the invented Britishisms were easier to understand.
8. "I Want a Life" - This was fiery the first time but it seemed even more so on Friday.
9. "Have it Your Way" - Snert uses silences really well. Everything about this piece felt clearer and better executed. Shifting the staging 90 degrees (so it all happened in profile) was a good choice too.
14.5 "I MIND!" I thought this was okay on one-minute night. The second time was much funnier.
15. "Kisses of Sale" - I got my wish - Evan and Patrick onstage together again! Whatever the No Shame Oscar is, Lord Bennington gets it. When he was roaring about stealing all the wishes, I literally did not recognize him anymore. I wanted to call the insane asylum right then and there.

Pieces that were about the same:
2. "Sucks to be You!" Both Eric and Christina have written better stuff. This piece is okay.
5.5 "Clarence Thomas" - I'd never seen this before. Katy rocked the nudity. It wasn't risque in the least. Just up-front, matter-of-fact.
10. "Nine True Things"
17. "Sasquatch and Meanie" - My first time seeing it. I liked it, though Carolyn was a little hard to hear.

Pieces I liked better the first time:
6. "Bubblegum Yuppies" - Beautifully told, but it felt a little too planned - overstructured? this time. Maybe the element of surprise was gone. I don't know if Danielle actually changed anything - the piece just didn't hit me the same way.
11. "Tarzan" - The first time this felt lighter and more playful. This time Adam was superdramatic. It worked on the Tarzan howl, but not so much for the rest.
11.5 "Hopa-my-pockama" - It was less slapsticky the first time.
13. "Butterfly" - I think this fell apart a little toward the end. Someone said the guys couldn't dance as insanely as they did the first time because it was making the CD skip.
16. "What I Did For Summer Vacation" - I think Timm nailed the naivete just right the first time. This time it felt a little bit too actory.

Pieces I only saw from the side:
12. "Paincake"
14. "Eg Bio Ao Heilsa"

12/10/2006 5:03 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home