Saturday, December 02, 2006


Friday, December 8, 11 PM
Mabie Theatre

Open the comments to read and complain about the order.



Blogger AdamEggHahn said...

Best Of Order, Fall '06

1. "A Deep Intellectual Monologue About My Feelings" by Eli Wilkinson
2. "Sucks to Be You, Pluto!" by Christina Gulick and Eric Landuyt
3. "Hilary" by Megan Gogerty
4. "Sad Song" by Sad Sophie
5. "This Cake Is Not for You" by Evan Schenck
6. "Rigga the Fart Machine" by Michael Tabor, Jake Gontero, Jamal River, & Alyssa Bowman
6.5 "One Way in Which I Am Like Clarence Thomas" by Katy Baggs
7. "Bubble Gum Yuppies & Hardcore Puppies" by Danielle Santangelo
8. "Stiff Upper Lip" by Lydia Crowe
9. "I Want a Life" by Arlen Lawson
10. "Have It Your Way . . . Bitches" by Mortimer Snert
11. "Nine True Things About Russia and One Half-Lie That You Will Find Hard to Forget" by Mirri
12. "Tarzan" by Adam Hahn
12.5 "Hopa-my-pock-ama" by Joake Gontero
13. "Paincake" by Erin "Tenacious E" King
14. "I Can't Believe It's Not a Butterfly!" by Janani
15. "Eg Bio Ao Heilsa" by Rock 'n' Roll Norris
15.5 "I MIND!" by Alyssa Bowman
16. "Kisses of Sale, by the Wishing Well" by Lord Benington and His Theatre Troupe
17. "What I Did for My Summer Vacation" by Johnny Kirchner by Timm Sitzmann
18. "Sasquatch and Meanie Cut the Cheese" by Adam Burton and Carolyn Jacobson

12/02/2006 6:16 PM  
Anonymous katy baggs said...

I am following Rigga.

Aw damn.

12/02/2006 11:38 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

Actually, this is a very strong order (said the guy who had 2 pieces that got 8 nominations combined & yet did not get in). Of the 21 pieces on the list, a full 14 are indeed "Best of" and deserve entrance (yes, that includes rigga), another 3 I strongly suspect are brilliant though I haven't seen them. That's 17/21, or an 85% success rate, damn high for a venture like this.

• While I do enjoy the work of Mortimer Snerd, "Have it Your Way" does seem to have been somewhat influenced by a sketch from the the first-ever episode of "Mr. Show," which perhaps makes it less revolutionary for those who have seen said episodes.

• And I was not as entranced by Sasquatch as everyone else seemed to be. Sasquatch over one of Alisa Rosenthal's pieces? Sasquatch over puppets doing "The Secret Garden"? Seriously?

12/03/2006 5:14 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Word of concern! Does anyone have my script of "A Deep Intellectual Monologue about My Feelings"? I can't find it anywhere and it was only written down on a single sheet of paper. I would hate to have to rewrite it. *Gasp*

12/03/2006 6:49 PM  
Anonymous lydia said...


I saw that Mr. Show sketch and I still thought Have It Your Way was great. Even though I did think of the sketch when I saw it I think it's an original approach & still plenty entertaining. Also "We Are Anarchists" was a little like a certain A Bit Of Fry & Laurie sketch but it still rocked. I am so excellent at critical writing.


I'm a little sad that there's no advice about baseball, though...

12/03/2006 10:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i too demand advice about baseball. give the public what it wants timm!

12/03/2006 10:40 PM  
Blogger AdamEggHahn said...


I would have a copy of your script in my hand right now if you could ever be bothered to TURN IN A LIGHT BOOTH COPY.


12/04/2006 12:25 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

I love you too Adam. Kisses.

ps. I havent even searched my cell apartment yet. Its probably there somewhere. Idk. I actually haven't slept there in weeks. Oh well.

12/04/2006 1:00 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

hold it greg, youre offsides. a five ard penalty hurts the whole team. just wait until you see have it your way bitches performed in all of its intended glory. it will go above and beyond anyhing david cross and bah bodenkirk could have cooked up.

12/04/2006 8:00 AM  
Anonymous Gogerty said...

How delightful to be included!

Sadly, I must decline, as I am unavailable Friday the 8th. (Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention... Cue swelling of strings.)

hearts and puppy entrails,


12/04/2006 11:25 AM  
Anonymous Eric said...

Since Meghan Gogerty won't be coming, can Greg Machlin's serial killer sketch fill that slot? I was disappointed we wouldn't get to see Pourable Mustard again, but now there's hope (maybe). I hope the board members take this into consideration.

12/04/2006 11:38 AM  
Anonymous alisa said...

I would second this consideration.

12/04/2006 12:00 PM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

Let's open the floor to a second round of nominations!

12/04/2006 1:10 PM  
Anonymous janani said...

i also vote for Serial Killer. Adam was a good interrogator.

12/04/2006 1:25 PM  
Anonymous jml said...

I nominate "boys play with a soda bottle or something and I don't get it!" by those 2 high school guys!

12/04/2006 1:26 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...


was rigga a trilogy? if not, it should be and all three should be in best of.

12/04/2006 1:27 PM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

There wasn't even a second Rigga! It was just a title I used the next week, because I thought the title was clever.

12/04/2006 1:41 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

oh yeah, wrath of hahn?

you should make one that actually deals with the real rigga and adams wrath.

also. for best of, im just going to assume that adam will be fulfilling his role in the piece.

12/04/2006 1:55 PM  
Blogger Michael Tabor said...

"also. for best of, im just going to assume that adam will be fulfilling his role in the piece."

Me too.

12/04/2006 1:55 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

I also think that Greg's serial killer sketch should replace M. Gogerty in the order since she can't be there, because that piece was wicked awesome.

Also I edited "This Cake is not for You" a whole bunch so as to make it not drag.

Also I'm going to get in trouble for saying this because I'm not supposed to tell you guys and she actually reads the blog, but my girlfriend expressed dissatisfaction with how the BONS nomination process works (like how the nominations are subject to the relentless bias of the board members), and Travis and me were like, "No shit" because we knew all about it last year, and I even did a piece about killing the no-shame board over it, get with the times, Ann!

12/04/2006 3:11 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

relentless bias? how should it work? actual VOTES? an electoral college?? we all know how reliable that can be! *cough* bill clinton *cough*

12/04/2006 3:19 PM  
Anonymous Sean said...


12/04/2006 5:01 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Never fear Adam. I have located the script. Somehow it wandered into my full length scripts binder... wierd. or Sabotage?

12/04/2006 6:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm, abouut the whole voting thing? I could probably write up some code stuff that would allow everyone to maintain their own roster for BONS during the semester and then the board can use that to base the actual roster at the end. It probably wouldn't be too hard to make it so you could change it as often as you wanted.

12/04/2006 10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there needs to be a sense of control. the show has to be balanced. the right people need to be represented. there needs to be a level of intuition. the board keeps detailed account of what pieces are nominated and how many times. they do serve as a bit of an electoral college. i have no problem with the current system. however ive been in best of the last two semesters. do people really have a problem with this?

12/04/2006 10:53 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

No, I don't really have a problem with it, and I didn't have a problem with it two semesters ago when I did a dead week piece about staging a revolt to oust the board. I pointed it out because I thought it was funny.

12/05/2006 1:36 PM  
Blogger santangelo said...

Let us not forget that fabulous piece that greg performed where he danced around with Alisa, as a soda machine.

And then there was that Alisa piece where she sang with a guitar.

It's a shame about Gogerty. Let's asume she's mourning the loss of John Lennon that night.

12/05/2006 2:31 PM  
Anonymous GREG said...


12/05/2006 3:28 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

goddamit danielle! it was BANJO! what is wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!?!

12/05/2006 3:30 PM  
Anonymous gogerty said...

for fucks sake, danielle!! we're PUTTING MY DOG DOWN!!! fuck john lennon! you're so insensitive!

12/05/2006 3:32 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

man. those guys are dicks, danielle.

12/05/2006 3:34 PM  
Anonymous greg said...

wait a minute... i didnt post that! honest, danielle. i wouldnt ever say anything so mean. i mean, it WAS a coffee machine, but i wasnt mad that you screwed up or didnt really remember my piece. whats going on around here?

12/05/2006 3:38 PM  
Anonymous evan schenck said...

sure it was him. click on his name! it leads straight to his facebook! explain THAT ONE, greg!

12/05/2006 3:39 PM  
Anonymous michael tabor said...

this is so funny!

12/05/2006 3:41 PM  
Anonymous jamalxor said...

i know!

12/05/2006 3:41 PM  
Anonymous santangelo said...

thats it!


12/05/2006 3:43 PM  
Anonymous santangelo said...


12/05/2006 3:43 PM  
Anonymous gogerty said...

for fucks sake, danielle!! we're PUTTING MY DOG DOWN!!! fuck john lennon! you're so insensitive!

This is clearly a forgery. I would never be so crass as to leave out the apostrophe when using the phrase, "for fuck's sake." It's for the sake of fuck, people. *sigh*

Snootily yours,


12/05/2006 3:53 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

I am also tickled/disturbed that someone has linked to my facebook profile. And Danielle, you know I would only exclaim snarky comments back to you with a mere 5 sets of ?!s.

And how sad is it about John Lennon?! ?! ?! ?! ?!

12/05/2006 3:54 PM  
Anonymous gogerty said...

Prove it.

12/05/2006 3:57 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

BTW... it WAS a banjo :)

12/05/2006 3:58 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

No..... I think it was a ukulele.

12/05/2006 4:01 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

Girls! Girls! Let's just assume it was a trombone and call it a day!

12/05/2006 4:03 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

banjo. and i should know.

12/05/2006 4:03 PM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

this is getting kinda weird...

12/05/2006 4:04 PM  
Anonymous alisa said...

Mommy yells....

12/05/2006 4:06 PM  
Anonymous adamegghahn said...

What the fuck is going on here?

12/05/2006 4:09 PM  
Anonymous adamegghahn said...

By the way, i hate everybody at No Shame! Your pieces all sucks! im teh BEST!

12/05/2006 4:11 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Shut up. DAD!

12/05/2006 4:47 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

sometimes I just want to feather my hair all day long and look at it

12/05/2006 4:54 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

This is the most fucking bizarre case of imposterism I've ever seen on the No Shame blog! And I've seen a lot! And most of them I at least helped with! Not this, though. I have no way of proving the legitimacy of this post (the "jamalxor" and the last "jamal" were brilliant forgeries, but again, it's my word against any equally compelling fake words. Hey fake Jamal! Do you know how to link to my facebook account? I only just got it yesterday. I don't know how to link to it.)

12/05/2006 5:06 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

That last post was weird. I just read it. But it was really me! And I am really me still OK!

12/05/2006 5:09 PM  
Anonymous the real jamal said...

this is nukcing futz! none of the above posts were actually by me! i cant belive this is happening? and i DO know how to link to my own facebook! click abve. this is the craziest shit since rigga! mayeb since ever!

12/05/2006 5:19 PM  
Blogger santangelo said...

alright alright, what is going on here?

I WAS an ass in saying "soda machine" and "guitar" and "John Lennon," and I believe all you kids when you say "it wasn't me, someone hacked"... but I never posted those "I'M LEAVING IOWA CITY" AND "FOR GOOD" posts. How someone managed to log into my account and post those, I have no idea.

And has anyone else had trouble logging into their facebook account today? Because I can't log in at all, and I changed my password and was able to log in THEN, but couldn't make any posts or anything.

I have an idea of who's trying to make us all look like assholes.

12/05/2006 5:35 PM  
Anonymous David Bowie said...

Yeah, I think it's sort of interesting how easy it is to impersonate someone's blogger account on this interface. It's not very well designed. It should be pretty clear that the post by "evan schenck" in reply to Greg above isn't me--just compare it to my other posts on the internet(s) and you can see the difference.

Evan Schenck
alias Ziggy Stardust

12/05/2006 5:54 PM  
Anonymous jamalga said...

Wow, fake Jamal. I am motherfucking impressed. And I still don't know how to link to facebook. (What color shirt am I wearing today, smart guy? What did I eat for breakfast? Huh? Huh?Motherfuck. I don't know who you are, but I respect your work.)

Moments later...

Shit! I guess I know do know who to link to it. But it was an accident.

12/05/2006 5:54 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

Wait. I didn't link to it. Why no?

12/05/2006 5:56 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

OK, I guess I don't know how to link to it.
You know, I haven't even clicked on the link to see what happens. I'll try it.

12/05/2006 5:57 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

OK. I tried it. It was fine. I still don't know how to make it myself, though.

12/05/2006 5:58 PM  
Anonymous Evan Schenck said...

Calm down, there was no hacking involved. Click on my name in this post and it refers back to Adam Hahn's blogger profile. Magic? Or is it teh INTARNETS?

An interesting trick that I hadn't really thought of, but it only took me about 2 seconds to figure out. At least our interweb prankster wasn't being mean--I mind him/her/it less than I mind the anonymous automatons that come into the blog to sell me knives.

12/05/2006 5:59 PM  
Anonymous poopy pants said...

"An interesting trick that I hadn't really thought of, but it only took me about 2 seconds to figure out."

Ooh, you're a smarty smart mo-fo, ain't ya. Reminds me of a poem.
"Booger's butt
Won't stay shut
The cheeks parted
When he farted"
I retroactively wrote that for you, Ivan Shank.

-Jml Rvr

12/05/2006 6:20 PM  
Anonymous jamal. again&agin&agan said...

Jeez, who's not being mean NOW?

12/05/2006 6:28 PM  
Anonymous santangelo said...

OMG, you guys! This is seriously getting fucked up. First my facebook is all fucked up, then some one is on here hacking into my account and now...NOW i just got home and my room has been motherfucking ransacked! my bookshelf was tipped over, my mattress was leaning against the wall and not only were ALL of my underwears stolen, so were my important documents! oh fuck! i just realized my social security card is missing. i need to report this to the authorities.

WHAT IS GOING ON??????????

12/05/2006 6:50 PM  
Anonymous janani said...

Something is seriously wrong. Does this remind anyone of a teen horror movie? Scream? Scream 2? Scream 3? Swimfan85?

12/05/2006 6:54 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

It reminds me of Saw 3: Sawdomy.

12/05/2006 6:57 PM  
Anonymous michael tabor said...

"An interesting trick that I hadn't really thought of, but it only took me about 2 seconds to figure out."

I can see where this is going. Evan formulated this entire prank just so he could come and save the day by explaining how simple the whole thing was.


12/05/2006 7:01 PM  
Anonymous adamegghahn said...


While a clever prank this may be, stealing Danielle's underwears and important documents crossed the line. BIG TIME. And I should know.


I'm assuming your last post was in jest, however, if it wasn't, call me. It's probably not safe for you to be alone right now.


12/05/2006 7:04 PM  
Anonymous J-man said...

Michael, i do believe you are mistaken. teh way i see it, this is all an elaborate scheme devised by egg to scare danielle into his arms.

and by revealing this, i may have placed myself in danger...

12/05/2006 7:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, this is the real Greg, Greg Machlin.

Thanks to those who re-nominated my piece.

Glad I was not the only one who had his/her identity stolen. Somebody is having a bit too muchj time on his/her hands.

First, I wouldn't swear at Danielle for getting a minor detail wrong, which I thinks she knows. Second, I tend to use punctuation and capital letters (fake post #2).

Blogger links do not go to facebook entires. Please do not pretend to be me on the internet. Jeebus.

12/05/2006 7:24 PM  
Blogger Evan Schenck said...

I never said it was clever.

12/05/2006 7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way, if the board does decide to fill the empty slot, I'd be happy to do either "The Serial Killer Sketch" or "coffee in the green room" with Alisa.

12/05/2006 7:29 PM  
Anonymous katy baggs said...

How come I wasn't impersonated?

Frankly, I feel left out.

12/05/2006 7:42 PM  
Anonymous greg said...

Don't worry, Katy. It's not as fun as it looks.

And seriously, just throwing this out there, I'd like to be in Best Of.

12/05/2006 7:47 PM  
Anonymous jamal said...

"And seriously, just throwing this out there, I'd like to be in Best Of."

Yeah, come to think of it, me too! 1/4 authorship on Rigga just doesn't do it for me. Maybe a song? Or a skit! I could even write a new one just for the occassion! But I don't know, whichever you prefer. What should I do in BONS, do you think? Song or skit? I just can't make up my mind! Golly!

12/05/2006 7:57 PM  
Anonymous the real katy baggs for real said...

"How come I wasn't impersonated?

Frankly, I feel left out."

You guys, I did not say this. Looks like I jus' got 'personated.

The real Katy Baggs (which is me) does not use the word "frankly" anyway.


12/05/2006 9:13 PM  
Anonymous katy blah blooh said...

goddamnit, just follow the link

12/05/2006 9:20 PM  
Blogger santangelo said...

I'm quitting No Shame but ONLY because of this blog disaster.

And this is the real me, not the one who was ransacked.

I can prove it is me because I got a scar on my 'gina. See?

And Katy: nice pic.

12/05/2006 9:27 PM  
Anonymous scargina said...

"I can prove it is me because I got a scar on my 'gina. See?"

Yeah. Gross. (I don't think that's technically a scar, but it's... daunting, none, the less.) Here's a website of information for you; people who have had similar issues have posted there, and received very thoughtful advice.

12/05/2006 9:48 PM  
Blogger AdamEggHahn said...

I have just changed the setting preventing anyone but actual Blogger members from commenting (not that there aren't asshole members of Blogger, but at least now we should be able to tell them apart,)

12/05/2006 10:26 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

Thank you Adam. I'm just glad no one pretended to be me. Mainly because if they did I would track them down and shove my Claymore down their throats until it came out their privates. Then i'd twist it and pull out the sword. Then Drain their blood and probably feed them to baby seals.

12/05/2006 10:41 PM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...

I didn't say that! I am not that mean!

KIDDING! GOT YOU! Or not... probably not. Eli want death now... (tears)

12/06/2006 2:53 AM  
Blogger Mortimer said...

man. you guys! i got personated TWICE! MY LIFE IS OVER!

12/06/2006 7:25 AM  
Blogger Eli Wilkinson the First said...


For tonight if we indeed are in Mabie theater for BONS be aware that the stage floor is raked. Meaning it slopes down from the back of the theatre to the front lip. So anything prop wise that you have that can roll probably will.

Also, someone will announce this later BUT avoid the front lip of the stage. It isn't reinforced and might break if you stand on it. (I'm lookin your way Papa Smurf) thanks and see you tonight.

Yours to molest,
Eli Douche Bag Wilkinson

12/08/2006 10:54 AM  
Blogger Burton said...

So what did people think of the pieces in terms of re-performance success? There were so many I had never seen before -- just wondering if they came out the same as originally, better, not as good?

12/09/2006 2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here, Adam. I reposted this for you. She answers your question from her own point of view! (I also reposted this on the other thread, but that was an accident).

janani said...

Pieces that were better on second viewing:
1. "Deep Intellectual Monologue" - Bravo Shelton. The DAAAAADS were even more aggressively pathetic this time. Loved it.
3. "Sad Song" - The choruses worked better this time.
4. "This Cake Is Not For You" - At last, an Evan piece that clocks in just right. The cuts made it so much more effective. Patrick was a great choice as the cake eater; as he was taunting Michael Tabor I thought, "He reminds me of a smooth high school villain from a John Hughes movie. One of those guys who leans up against a locker and destroys you with a look." I want to see these two together onstage more often!
5. "Rigga the Fart Machine" - Seeing this in closeup was way funnier. Jake turned so red! And then when he took his hands away from his face, it turned white! Just like strawberries and cream!
7. "Stiff Upper Lip" - Lydia spoke more clearly this time. All the invented Britishisms were easier to understand.
8. "I Want a Life" - This was fiery the first time but it seemed even more so on Friday.
9. "Have it Your Way" - Snert uses silences really well. Everything about this piece felt clearer and better executed. Shifting the staging 90 degrees (so it all happened in profile) was a good choice too.
14.5 "I MIND!" I thought this was okay on one-minute night. The second time was much funnier.
15. "Kisses of Sale" - I got my wish - Evan and Patrick onstage together again! Whatever the No Shame Oscar is, Lord Bennington gets it. When he was roaring about stealing all the wishes, I literally did not recognize him anymore. I wanted to call the insane asylum right then and there.

Pieces that were about the same:
2. "Sucks to be You!" Both Eric and Christina have written better stuff. This piece is okay.
5.5 "Clarence Thomas" - I'd never seen this before. Katy rocked the nudity. It wasn't risque in the least. Just up-front, matter-of-fact.
10. "Nine True Things"
17. "Sasquatch and Meanie" - My first time seeing it. I liked it, though Carolyn was a little hard to hear.

Pieces I liked better the first time:
6. "Bubblegum Yuppies" - Beautifully told, but it felt a little too planned - overstructured? this time. Maybe the element of surprise was gone. I don't know if Danielle actually changed anything - the piece just didn't hit me the same way.
11. "Tarzan" - The first time this felt lighter and more playful. This time Adam was superdramatic. It worked on the Tarzan howl, but not so much for the rest.
11.5 "Hopa-my-pockama" - It was less slapsticky the first time.
13. "Butterfly" - I think this fell apart a little toward the end. Someone said the guys couldn't dance as insanely as they did the first time because it was making the CD skip.
16. "What I Did For Summer Vacation" - I think Timm nailed the naivete just right the first time. This time it felt a little bit too actory.

Pieces I only saw from the side:
12. "Paincake"
14. "Eg Bio Ao Heilsa"

12/10/2006 5:05 PM  

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